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Past is Prologue

from At the Heart of it by At the Heart of it

/

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You sat there silent, without making a sound. Lips pressed between those syllables you could never get out. Was it just another fiction derived from your head? Another attempt to make amends with what was meant but never said? I'll never know. How can you make amends with the dead? How can you just pretend? Is it easier to fake it? Is it easier than letting go? What's done is done. What's gone is gone. Will we find a way to carry on? A way to break the silence, to remind us where it is that we belong. What's done is done. What's gone is gone. Will we find a way to carry on? What's done is done. What's gone is gone. Show me a sign. What's done is done. Show me a sign. What's gone is gone. Just keep me alive long enough to see this through. Show me a sign. What's done is done. Show me a sign. What's gone is gone. Just keep me alive, long enough to see it through. For the first time in your life, see this through. Every path laid out before you. Every choice another chance for us to speak. We watch our failures fading off into the distance. Every step brings us further and further from defeat. And I believe that what you thought that you'd left behind all this time, in fact, has never left your side. And just when you think that it's gone, it climbs your spine to remind you that it's been here all along. We are defined by so much more than the choices that we've made. We are defined by the lives we've touched along the way. Now forever changed. We are never the same. Our preconceptions are lost in the wake of our mistakes. Have we come full circle? We are never the same. Every choice that we make, every word that we speak, is a chance to believe in something. The rest are silent, but we speak. So tired. So scared. Afraid of moving forward, and yet, so terrified of standing still. Is this how we'll be remembered? Not for what we've done, but for that which we've avoided altogether? Without any sort of cadence or closure? It lingers somewhere deep beneath our chests, as it claws its way up and down our throats in search of breath. And I may have forgotten just how much this meant, but I won't make the same mistakes again. What's done is done. What's gone is gone. We found a way to carry on. We found a way to carry on without you.

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from At the Heart of it, released March 3, 2015

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At the Heart of it Manchester, New Hampshire

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