you couldn't stay

by At the Heart of it

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $2 USD  or more




released August 19, 2016

Recorded October 2015 at Labyrinth Audio, Billerica, MA
Engineered by: Keith Gentile and Nick Twohig
Assistant engineered by:
Daniel P. Nahkoul
Mixed and mastered by:
Mike Watts of Vudu Studios
All songs written by:
Richie Downs, Andrew Castellucci,
Jim Nichols, Nicholas Angelo, and Nick Twohig
All songs copyright



all rights reserved


At the Heart of it Manchester, New Hampshire

contact / help

Contact At the Heart of it

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Currents

We watched your innocence slowly slip away, swallowed by the sea. Taken from us well before your time. Ripped from your friends, your family and your life. I need to know what was going through your head as you were letting go. I can't imagine what it must've felt like to feel so empty, vacant and alone.

But we look away. It's so much easier to stay in that place between asleep and awake, than it is to admit to our own mistakes. I see your life next to mine like a shadow, cast. Every detail of your body dressed in shades of blue and black. An outline standing fast, unmistakable against the backdrop of the sea.

An unyielding monument to all the ways that this world failed you.

Carried away by the swell and the break of the sea, further from us as the tide recedes. I watched you sink beneath the waves. Your only chance to leave this place behind (you were swept away). You never had the chance to live your life. Taken from us before your time. Swept away.

Are we all just swept away? Without a face? without a name? Never feeling safe in your own skin. Abandoned by the ones you loved the most at the very moment that you chose to let them in. And everything you were, or would ever be, soon after swallowed by the sea.

You were swallowed by the sea. We tried to find a way to bury our mistakes but nothing seems to change. It always ends the same we're all just swept away by the currents.

You can't just bury the past. It always ends the same. We're all just swept away.
Track Name: Sunspots
I watched you burn away, in a place and time so far removed from today. I heard you say that nothing lasts forever but the memories we've made along the way, but I can still see your face. As clear and ever present as the moment that they took you away. It was a feeling that I could never shake. A constant reminder of what's gone and can never be replaced. I tried to tell myself that it was just your time. I tried to focus on your life, but it's your absence that defines who I've become now. An empty shell of the person that I was. Still holding on to shadows. Still staring at the sun.

In a place and time so far removed from today, I watched you burn away. Burn away.

I saw you sitting there alone in that chair in your moment of surrender. You could barely speak a word, but I remember how you told me that you were so scared. Not of death, but of leaving us alone in this world unprepared to face the idea of a life lived without you. The weight of it all... I don't know if I know how to.

I believe that a piece of you lives on in every piece of me. You're never truly gone as long as we continue to breathe. I can see your face in the crashing of the waves; hear your voice in the wind in the trees. You couldn't stay. Just like the setting sun we're all meant to burn away.

I watched you burn away. Burn away. Burn away. Burn away. Burn away. Burn away. Burn away.

Burn. Away.

You couldn't stay.

But I’m learning how to let you burn away...